


you're a man now, boy

by flyonmylove



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Depression, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29099895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyonmylove/pseuds/flyonmylove
Summary: i was an astronaut once upon a time; now I'm tryna stay grounded, keep some order in my life.
Relationships: Aomine Daiki & Kagami Taiga, Aomine Daiki & Kuroko Tetsuya, Aomine Daiki & Momoi Satsuki, Aomine Daiki & Original Character(s), Aomine Daiki & Sakurai Ryou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	you're a man now, boy

**Author's Note:**

> aomine daiki is my son thank you in advance for coming to my tedtalk. also the oc is just a new touou captain. nothing wild. friend only zone.

_ And though this body’s taller, sometimes I feel smaller. _

Dribble, dribble, pause. Think about passing. Don’t. Shoot. Swish.

It’s a repetition Daiki’s known his entire life, how to play basketball. Maybe there’s a change, sometimes he  _ does _ pass, sometimes he shows off, leans far to the ground and still manages to make it, dodges another play with an ease that should only come with pros. But Aomine Daiki might as well be, he’s a prodigy, a Miracle of his generation. 

A monster.

He shakes it off. Monsters aren’t real. They’re figments of imagination. Tetsu and Kagami, they taught him that, that he wasn’t the boogeyman, the bloodsucking beast people made him out to be. That even the things that look scariest well, they turn out to be nothing, like trees in a dark forest. 

Then why does he still feel like one?

Dribble, dribble. Don’t pause this time. Shoot without thinking. Swish.

Because it’s not like he has anyone to pass to. 

Tetsu has Kagami now, and Kagami is everything he is and everything he isn’t, but everything Tetsu needs. Reliable, and kind, and has a light brighter than his own. He’ll never say it to his face, but he knows it’s true. He thinks Kagami knows it’s true too, but they have an understanding. He’d rather bite his own tongue off than admit it’s a  _ friendship _ they have, even when they’re sharing a pile of burgers at Maji and are exchanging quips. He and Tetsu are partners now. Not him. He burned that bridge and threw the ashes in the wind, and even if he wants to rebuild it, gathering the materials in his own hands to do it, he can’t do it at the speed he wants, because he wants so badly for things to just be  _ fine _ again, but his hands are stained with soot deep into his skin, and he can’t just wash that away.

Satsuki is there, technically. Physically. She’s still managing them, but there’s something now, that’s different. Because he can’t find the words, the way to apologize like he truly means it, and he’s hurt her almost more than Tetsu, he thinks. No, he knows, and maybe that’s worse. Knows that he’s done so much damage that he can’t reverse, can’t undo the knot in the necklace, because it’s so tied in on itself for his bulky fingers he ends up tripping over it and retying the progress he makes and now it’s just  _ worse _ . She still cares about him, he knows that. They’ve gone too long to just not  _ care _ , but that’s the problem. Their orbits have been so intertwined and focused they’ve never stretched anything more than arm’s reach. And when you’re that linked, that tied to someone, and you hurt them so badly, but you have no idea how to fix it, well. Things get worse. And maybe it’s unfixable.

That hurts Daiki the most, he thinks.

Because he’s never gone without Satsuki. Tetsu, yeah. Kise or anyone else, he’s lived lives without them. But Satsuki is a part of him, part of his DNA and his  _ being _ . And that’s the  _ issue _ , Dai-chan, she says. That he  _ can’t _ do anything without her. That he’s practically a toddler, stunted and dependent on her like a child. A boy. And she’s not his mom. So she tells him she needs space and then maybe they can work on it. Y’know, when he’s no longer a boy.

But he’s in his third year now, about to graduate, and he’s a man now, boy.

Dribble. Dribble. Pause. Pause. Pause.

Shoot.

Miss.

Fuck.

So he isolates. He goes to practice still of course, class too. He’s trying. Trying so hard to be better. He even does his homework, attempting to ask Ryo or their new captain, Yamazaki for help, because they’re...friendly, but he doesn’t really think they’re  _ friends _ , if he’s being quite honest. Who’d wanna be friends with a guy like  _ him _ ? Total fuckup, asshole guy he is. Can’t do anything right. It’s more of a mess to be friends with him, he thinks. Hell,  _ he _ doesn’t even want to be around himself. So he sleeps so he doesn’t have to deal with himself outside of basic needs.

But that doesn’t fix things. Doesn’t fix things with Satsuki, because she barely throws a look at him when she doesn’t have to, because that’s what space means  _ Aomine-kun _ , and it’s not like she hasn’t called him that before, but for some reason it stings now, like the bees he’s always afraid of are going to catch up with him in the springtime. He tries little gestures, treats in her locker, offering to bring her a water bottle or something before a game. They’re both struggling with it, he likes to think, but he gets the feeling it’s mostly him who’s struggling, because Satsuki has all of these people and...who does he have? Jeez, that  _ the only one who can beat me  _ bullshit he was on sure does feel like a slam to the face now. 

So when he meets with Kagami for their regularly scheduled basketball one-on-one, he feels like shit, moreso than usual, for some reason. He thinks it’s the cloudy weather. But Kagami has fucking  _ had _ it with him, when Daiki finally mentions something about how frustrating it is, because he  _ knows _ he’s whining, he  _ thinks _ he has the right to, but Kagami doesn’t, because he’s calling him stupid, and selfish, and  _ Fucking Christ, dude, don’t you ever think about anyone else but yourself? _

And maybe that’s what makes him snap and push him. Because Daiki thought he’d gotten over that. Gotten over that selfish part of himself that only thinks about himself.  _ Thought _ . Had he not? Has he really been just carrying it around this entire time? Fuck.  _ Fuck _ . He pushes him again, and now they’re fighting, physically, because Kagami has  _ had it _ and Daiki has too.

Daiki goes to school Monday with a black eye. 

He ignores the stares and whispers, because they probably expected it. He’d always been quiet here, intimidating in size and demeanor. Of course he’d finally gotten into a fight. Ryo seems to be the only one concerned, his one  _ maybe _ actual friend, and offers to get him something cold, maybe it’ll help? He apologizes. Daiki tells him he doesn’t need to, but the water bottle will be nice. And it is. It’s cold even if the bruise is a little over two days old. Soothing. Maybe it’ll get rid of it by the time practice rolls around.

It doesn’t, to his chagrin.

At least the members don’t seem to ask too many questions. They’re not really  _ concerned _ either, and if Aomine were in a lower place he might take that personally, but they’re not  _ friends _ , so of course they don’t  _ care _ . Even if that would be kinda nice. Whatever. He spots Satsuki with her clipboard and she meets his eyes and he thinks he sees a brief moment of concern, like she wants to ask what happened, but she just sort of smiles sadly at him and nods, going back to her work. It’s something, he thinks. Still makes his chest hurt, though. He can’t wallow in it, with the slap to his back, Yamazaki, friendly and absurdly kind checking on him. If he didn’t seem so genuine, Daiki might find him annoying.

“You okay? Something happened?”

“...It’s fine.”

“Doesn’t  _ look _ fine.” He puts his hands on his hips. Sighs. Smiles. “But, I won’t force you to talk about it. As long as you  _ feel _ fine. No concussion or anything, right?”

“Nah,” Daiki can’t even look at him. He’s still being smiled at though, he can feel it.

“Well, good.” he says, and Daiki feels a squeeze to his shoulder, and then he’s gone. Daiki feels like he should’ve...said something, some fleeting moment of something  _ missing  _ when he’s gone. Whatever. It’s ball time.

Which ends, like it always does of course. Daiki wishes it could last forever, that his body wouldn’t wear out and he could just focus on the way it feels to run across the court, the bumps along the ball across his fingers. That’s his ideal world. No thinking, no thoughts or feelings. Just the release of happiness he feels playing. That doesn’t exist though, so he feels empty again when it ends, and he’s in the locker room changing. It’s just him and his captain again, and silence feels thicker and thicker before Daiki finally lets something slip.

“Got into a fight.”

“Oh?” Daiki’s not looking, but Yamazaki probably looks surprised. Or pretending to. “With who?”

“...Kagami.”

“You  _ should _ keep that on the court, you know,” he says, pressing his locker shut, leaning against it. “But...I’m guessing it’s not that simple.”

“...No.” Daiki says, and he ends up spilling it all, sitting on the bench behind him, head low, because he refuses to see the judgement on his face.

“Hm,” Yamazaki hums when Daiki’s done. “Well..” Ah, shit he should’ve just kept it all to himself. Now it’s awkward. “I’m glad you told me, Aomine-kun. I don’t have any advice beyond just  _ talking _ to him, though. You’ll figure it out.”

Wait, he’s  _ glad _ ?

“Of course I am,”  _ Ah shit, did he say that out loud? _ “We’re friends, but I’ve never heard you open up like that before, it’s nice.” 

Hold on. Daiki’s head finally shoots up.

“We’re friends?”

“What?” He lets out a laugh, genuine, when Daiki thinks he should be mocking him. “Of course we’re friends. You sure are a weird guy,” Yamazaki gives him a pat on the shoulder, pulling his bag up on his own. “Take care of yourself, Aomine-kun. See you tomorrow!” And then he’s gone. 

Huh. A friend. Weird.

Something else weird is the fact that he shows up later in the week with Kagami again. He doesn’t know why but he’s surprised to see him here, the aftermath of their tussle on Kagami’s cheekbone almost gone.

“...You’re here.”

“...Yeah? No shit,” Kagami says and starts stretching. 

“I didn’t…”

“What? Didn’t think I’d show up? I’m not a coward, dumbass.” Daiki fidgets with his fingers. “Knew you would, though. If you hadn’t I would’ve had to call  _ you _ a coward,” Kagami smirks over at him. Fucking asshole, Daiki thinks. He  _ should _ just leave. “But, you did show up, so. Guess you got that goin’ for you. You ready or are we just gonna stand around like a bunch of losers?”

And they do play. Just like all the weeks before, until they’re out of breath and gulping down bottles of Pocari like they’re dying. A silence hangs, comfortable, oddly enough, but Daiki still has the itch he felt when his fingers felt fidgety earlier. 

“You really think I’m selfish?”

“Uh...yeah?” Kagami responds, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world as he twists the cap shut. Daiki...sits with it. 

“Sorry.”

“...The  _ hell _ you apologizing to me for?”

“Uh.”

“Fuckin’ idiot,” Kagami breaths, shaking his head.

“I’m not  _ tryin’ _ to be!”

“Yeah well? You fucking suck at it, dude.”

“Well! I don’t know what else to do!” And Kagami turns to look at him like he has three heads, maybe five, actually. 

“And? That’s my problem?”

“...No.” Daiki snaps, picking up his hoodie and throwing it on. Kagami sighs.

“Maybe if you got your  _ head _ out of your ass for more than five seconds, you’d see!” 

“Well I can’t pull it out by myself!”

“You want me to  _ help  _ you?!”

Daiki has to sigh, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Well?!”

“...Maybe.”

“...Maybe?!”

“Are you just gonna keep repeating me like a fucking bird?”

“I’m not doing shit until you actually  _ ask _ .”

Daiki sighs again, letting his head hang back. It’s dark now, the stars are actually decently bright out here, even if they are sparse. They’re more beautiful in the mountains where he used to spend in the summers, back before his dad was super busy and he didn’t have to worry about things like college or championships or school or anything else. Just the fresh air and the fact that Satsuki would be ready to play when he got home. God, he misses that. Misses their friendship. 

“Will you help?”

Kagami looks at him like he’s grown like, at least five  _ more _ heads, and he’s crossed his arms over his chest, thinking about it. ...That’s...fair, Daiki thinks.

“Fine,” he agrees. “But I’m not doin’ this for free.”

“I’ll pay you in burgers.”

“Deal.” he agrees immediately. “I’m starvin’, by the way, let’s go.” and Daiki agrees, and it’s their first actual talk. At some point it comes up from Kagami that  _ fuckin’ idiot, you have friends, what the hell am I and Tetsu? _ and Daiki learns for the second time that week he does in fact, have friends. 

Dribble, dribble, dribble. Pause. Shoot. Wobble on the rim. Swish.

It’s an entire year’s worth of one-on-one’s and talks at Maji before Daiki gets his head out of his ass properly,  _ actually  _ talks with Tetsu, who is receptive, because even if he isn’t  _ his _ light anymore, they’re still Tetsu and Aomine-kun, blues brothers, and Tetus’s learned a lot too, he finds out. They’re both different than the little kids that met in that gym in middle school, but some things can’t be taken away from them, and for that Daiki’s grateful, that there  _ is _ a future for them, one where even if he and Kagami are at one another’s necks they’re all  _ three _ still friends, and maybe, just maybe, there’s a light all three of them can chase together.

It’s the night before graduation when he makes his way to Satsuki’s. They still live next door, a link that even when Satsuki asked for space can’t exactly be taken away. He feels...nervous. His palms sweat and he finds himself bouncing on the heels of his Jordan’s as he knocks at the door. Maybe he could just...turn back, go home and save dealing with the future for after. But he doesn’t want that, doesn’t want to go into adulthood with Satsuki and him feeling static and hurt. He wants their future to be bright like it is with Kagami and Tetsu and Ryo and Yamazaki, even. He has to do it. 

“...Aomine-kun?” She looks...confused. Understandable, he thinks. He takes a deep breath.

“...Can we talk, Satsuki?”

Satsuki considers him, like she’s not sure, because she knows his history, how all of these talks have gone before. But he’s changed, in ways she can’t chart in her calculations, and he wants to surprise her more in how he’s grown. 

Luckily for him. She nods, letting him in. The door closes behind. He’s just hoping another opens for them when it’s all over.

Dribble. Dribble. Dribble. Dribble. Pause. Pause. Pause. Breathe. Shoot.

Score.

**Author's Note:**

> he is simply doing his best please love him.


End file.
